upside down

I feel like my whole world is starting to turn upside down. The more carefree about my life the more "catastrophic" it becomes! But I am still not stressing. I dont know why...I think I am having a neural disconnection somewhere.

TONIGHT
I was 'attempted' robbed. aka a man outta nowhere ran past me in "del somethiFRITKOsomething" and tried to swipe my purse! It was a nice purse I will give it that, but no middle american man could tell the difference, so I really felt like he just picked me because mine was easily accessible. which was totallllly stupid on my part. BUT I am in my pajamas, glasses with andrea at 1 am in the morning down westheimer and he chose me to rob. or he picked me because I looked like a total wet blanket.

EITHERWAY

I heard him before I saw him and my reactions were not even that quick because i could barely comprehend what happened, but when I realize what had just got down I somewhat bolted.

According to dre, I said "omg." and got up and ran!
I followed him out of the restaurant to his car where 2 of his other friends were in.

He closed the door, I opened it and he tried to move his car but i was standing outside the driver seat, demanding my purse back. I spotted it in the hands of the passenger and grabbed it. There was a struggle while he was trying to drive off. By this time dre and the restaurant manager came outside and we collected quite a crowd.

The manager didnt do anything but bang on the passenger window while I fought the guy in the driver seat.

He was drunk, like that slow blitzed drunk and I was pissed. More pissed about the principle than the fact he had my purse and possibly like my $50 in my wallet. I was actually worried ab my momzz and how much she'd freak if I got robbed. ANDD I didnt want to go to through the trouble of getting a new license and canceling my debit card.

Even when my heart is racing and andrenaline pumping I was being rational? OR MAYBE I WAS BEING SO IRRATIONAL because I chased/fought against man and car.

The reality is he could have definitely killed/hurt/kidnapped me in some way shape or form but I just really didnt care. I believe that thought of him running me over went through my head as well but I got over it.

Somehow/way I got my purse back and he drove off in a hurry, dre almost got his license but she forgot it. understandable we were both pretty shaken up.

The meal was free but that was the extent of what he restaurant was willing to do. the police wasnt called and the 'bad guy' did inevitably got away. But he didnt get what he wanted and I wasnt hurt. Except for the massive bruise on my thigh from the side of his car that kept hitting me.

I almost died but I dont necessarily feel that way. I think I somewhat lost my mind for going after him and actually fighting him.

people are so fucked up and need to stop being mean to eachother.
My trust in humanity is failing.
and I need to get some mace.

long night.

poopoo

dr appt results= they thought my ankle was broken/fractured........but it wasnt......but i have to wear this bogus brace for like...ever..which translates toooooooo 6 weeks.

I have never been happier, carefree and calm. Finals came and gone and I didnt die, I didnt even cry. I am hoping for the best but prepared for the worst.

I feel like I am finally starting to fall back in love again with life, but it pulled a fast one on me.

again,
hope for the best
prepared for the worst

it snowed in austin..then houston. I drove home at 9pm last night, it was pitch black and freezing, snow flakes on my window and interpol in my stereo. it was serenely peaceful and subdued, I felt like the only person alive until I saw some other cars. But for just a second, it was like I was the only force in the world, slowly propelling home. In an universe soooo gigantic (34957438975573 AU atleast) its nice to have some delusional locality and selfishness.

--------------------
I am back home, its nice, I am just taking it easy and hanging with my pup.
I hate to say it but I am sure this break will be super hectic;
I got to move out/pack up my room by jan. my mom said she wants it on the market by then.
create my DT portfolio
I have two books I need to read, and I want to read Finnegan's Wake
el paso
jills wedding
escape
finish prison break
finish mad men
christmasssssss

I suppose I should still get one :[ hm.

I really want Spoon's cds mmmm christmass listtt

it's really beautiful outside and inside my house, its completely empty and dusk-y, part of me wants to sleep and the other parts wants to lay

I miss my elephant humphrey, hes being fed ex somewhere :[

all in all,
I am happy.
I am not sure why, I almost feel like I shouldnt be.

But I cant help it.

antzz

in my pantzzz

I am going nutss, I really want to run or trot or skip or jump OR SOMETHING. but my ankle is still damaged :[, dr. appt tomorrow, prayers?

---

I decided tonight, I am staying alive.

straight up

Now won't you run and tell your boyfriend
Tell him don't hold his breath for me
I've got some money I was saving
Got some hearts that I'll be breaking
Know someday they'll make a martyr out of me
I know someday they'll make a martyr out of me

She's so fine

And I like sometimes to wave it high
Up where everyone can see
I'm a lady
Got my mind made up
Got my mind made up

I know I spend magic reel it out
Try to hold a light to me
I'm a lady
Got my mind made up
Got my mind made up

I like to watch the way the wind blows
What does it know that I don't yet
Ooh, oh, look so pretty now
You're just so sweet
Let's see how far you can get
See just how far you can get

She's so fine

adult

I think the idea of 'hope' can really draw that line between 'mature' and 'immature'--'experienced' and 'inexperienced'--'bruised' and 'fresh'.

it's stupid really. ideals that is. "seeing" the world, creating some ridiculous philosophy in your own little head based on the really insignificant happenings of your life, just does not seem like a good idea.

maybe this is where Nietzsche got his start, going insane because of caring and analyzing.


good thing i dont give a fuck.

praise existentialism.

I dont care about all the uselessness,
you can't dispel your worthlessness,
and in a century or so,
you'll be the same name I forgot to know.

breaking news

stock market "nose dives," bummer.

terrorist attacks in Mumbai, India last week; killer, no pun intended.

finals this week and my sets are still incomplete, double whammy.

World is going to shit, can Mr. Obama really save us?

good news, glaciers on Mars and possibly frozen ocean on Jupiter! I guess we could always just start over?